"Self love is the most important thing because nobody can make you happy unless you're happy with yourself."
Self love is not a new idea. Self love is within yourself, from the moment you were born. As you grow and mature, self love follows, it develops more. Self love is what allows you to reciprocate love to others, it allows you to keep chasing your dreams, your goals, your desires, a better you, a better human. Without self love you have nothing, you are cold. Self love is what's on the //inside//.
How many times have messages been blasted to you on some platform that self love is so easy and so good and so fun! Wouldn't it be amazing if you could just say to yourself, "today I am going to forgive myself from my past. I am going to look at myself and love what I see in the mirror. I am okay with the decisions I have made and proud of where I am in life." It would be SO nice to just be able to blink and wholeheartedly, no hesitation, yes and amen love yourself.
I cannot define what self love is, I cannot give an equation to find it; self love looks different for everyone. Some people take the treat yo self way and buy clothes, food, massages. Others may take a more abstract route and meditate, journal, go for a hike.
To you, practice more for more self love.
But I am not talking to these people. I am talking to the person who has no idea how to self love. I am talking to the person who is ashamed, who feels like they do not deserve to love themselves or to be loved by others, who labels themself as a failure, a mess-up, not good enough, to the person who cannot find freedom from their past. I am talking to you.
Hello, my friend. You are not alone.
Story time: there was a time I thought I wanted to take on the role of God (spoiler alert, mega mistake); I wanted things to go my way, my speed, my timing. As the story goes, God let me take control (so I thought), and man I expected I was in the best phase of my life. Untillllll I spun out of control and crashed HARD at the feet of Jesus, humiliated, ashamed, empty, feeling worthless. I let the guilt of my situation stay attached to me like a leech. I labeled myself by the name my sin and wouldn't let go, but between you and me, I don't think I wanted to let go.
I did everything that a sinner would do. It was easy to throw myself pity parties. It was a lot easier to remain in my dark hole. I wouldn't allow myself the joys of life, I stayed away from people, and anyone who tried to get close I pushed away and shut out. I wouldn't talk to Jesus in fear of His wrath. I thought I had gone past the point of no return.
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You know when youre having like a lazy morning and you just lay in bed, hair is making its own statement, you're in your most favorite sleep shirt, yet there are all these unknown stains you don't dare to consider what it could be? It's comfortable, you don't care what you look like, how you smell, you are content. You deserve this lazy morning after all the hard work, constant running around town for others and yourself. You justify laying between your covers for 5 more minutes cause like you don't have that meeting until 3:00 pm this afternoon. Then to continue with your well deserved lazy morning, you go into the kitchen and prepare yourself a five-star breakfast. Then you take a 60 minute bath simply because you deserve it.
It's about 1:30 pm and you realize you should be getting ready for this important interview, so you start putting on your makeup and doing your hair all while dancing and singing along to your music. All of the sudden it's 2:15 and you freak cause it's a 40 minute commute and you live on the busiest street ever. You go into panic mode and start praying for no traffic, no red lights, no unforeseen bad luck.
Lucky for you, you manage to make it to the office by 2:50, perfect amount of time to get your ducks in a row and breathe. But during this extra 10 minutes, you look back and rethink all your steps this morning and how you should have done this better, cut this in half, not done that. If only you didn't stay in bed for 5 more minutes, it could have all been avoided.
BUTTTTT it did happen. You did stay in bed for those extra minutes. You did take an unnaturally long bubble bath. You cannot change it, it is over with. There is nothing you can do now that your lazy morning is over. Though you cannot retrace your steps, you can totally change how you handle more lazy mornings in the future.
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You cannot change your past. I cannot change the sins I committed. I cannot change the lies I told myself, the actions I have made, the words I have spoken. But we can change how we view our past. Even more, you can change how you go about similar situations in the future.
You messed up, you are not a mess up.
You failed an exam, you are not a failure.
You have feet, you are not feet.
By changing your perception of your past, you are allowing for the opportunity to discover the goodness of the situation, to discover growth; the more grace you show yourself, the less of a grip this sin has on you. The less of a grip, the easier it will be to detach your name from this sin. The easier it will be to detach your name from this sin, the more self love you will be able to pour into yourself. The more self love you can show yourself, the more love you can show to others. The more love you can show to others, the more accountability and freedom you will find.
The second you stumbled, God picked you right up and embraced you. He didn't snatch me up, smoke coming out of his ears, shaking his finger in my face, screaming "how dare you sin?!" He met me in the moment, empathy in his eyes, wiping my face with his fingers, whispering, "I have forgiven you. It is time to forgive yourself."
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To my friend who is struggling with self love, you are not alone. Jesus is with you, He is on your side, He is in your corner. Please know this. Please take this seriously. Please lay your sin at the foot of the cross. Please let Him in. Please.
To my other friends who loves others, reach out to your people, check on them, love them, be with them. Pray for them, pray for yourself.
To all my friends known and unknown, you matter, you are important, you are not feet.
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