Tuesday, May 12, 2020

They said


Be a woman, they said. Your dress is too short. Your blouse is too low. Don't show too much of your skin, cover-up. Leave something to a man's imagination. Don't tempt men, they can't control themselves. You're told to look sexy, to look hot, but don't be too provocative, or you're asking for it. Wear red, wear heels, but you're too dressed up. Wear sweats, wear tennis shoes, but now you're too dressed down. You look like you've let yourself go.

Be a woman, they said. Don't look too fat. Don't look too thin. You're told to eat up, you're told to slim down. Stop eating so much. Order a side salad and water. Don't eat carbs. Skip dessert. You're supposed to go on diets, but then told you to look like walking skeletons, so you are told to eat. You're told you look sick. You're told you look unhealthy. You're told that men like women with some meat on their bones. Be a size 0. Be a size double 0. Be nothing. Be less than nothing. Be a woman, they said.

You are told to be porn stars in the bedroom but expected to be a virgin until marriage. A woman who has slept around is called a whore, a slut, dirty. Be the ideal housewife, but fight for yourself in the business world. Give birth to as many children as you can, but pretend you're never tired or struggling. Be more independent. You will never find a husband with a controlling attitude. Be a woman, they said.

Be a man, they said. You aren't fit enough, you're too weak. You don't make enough money. Follow your dreams but don't be too ambitious. Be more successful. Have fun while you're single, sleep with any girl in sight. You will be praised, you will be glorified. Don't get girls pregnant, you will walk away from the child. Drive nice cars, have nice things. Don't you know how to save money? You're too muscular. Women like men with dad bods. Be a man, they said.

Take care of your children every day. Be the breadwinner. Be the CEO. Wealthy men are cheaters. Love your wife and spoil her. Don't let her take advantage of you like that. Have hobbies. Play golf, go on hikes. Spend more time with your family. Have an emotional side, but now you're called gay. Have a stern side, but now you have anger issues. Support your wife and her dreams. Lol, you're a stay at home dad??? Be a man, they said.

Be a man, they said. Be able to kill another with only your finger. Crying is for the weak. Build more muscle, grow more hair. Never look at another woman. Always keep to yourself. Now you're hiding something. Keep your doors locked but make sure they stay open when you are with your secretary or people will talk. Be a better father. Be the best husband. Work 60 hours a week. Stay at home more. You can't do anything right. Be a man, they said.

Women, don't throw yourself at men. Men don't use women. Men respect women, women think you're not interested. Have casual sex. Don't catch feelings. Women don't dress inappropriately, men learn to control yourselves. Women fight for equal pay. Men buy women the most expensive gifts. Men who manipulate women are dicks, assholes, heartless. Women who manipulate men are smart, sneaky, bold.

Men who argue are selfish and closed-minded. Women who argue are feisty and always win. A single mother is a hard worker, independent, capable. A single father is over-looked, judged, unable. Women expect men to make plans. Men have to compete with social media relationships to win over his woman. Men don't speak to other women when in a relationship. Women talk to as many men as you want. Men's motives are always questioned. Women can openly drool over pictures of other men.

Be a woman, they said. Be a man, they said. Men are not self-conscious. Men do not struggle with body image. Women are the only ones challenged by society's standards. Women's needs are the only needs that should be met. Men do not have hearts. Women should be respected, fought for, satisfied. Men should have no problem doing so. Men are told to communicate, but only when it is what women want to hear. Be a woman, they said. Be a man, they said.

Love one another. Support each other regardless of gender, skin color, age. Men clap for women when they get a raise. Women congratulate men when they find the one. Men never let women walk alone. Women never let a man be alone. Men cannot live without women. Women cannot survive without men. Wherever women fall short, men can pick up. Wherever men are empty, women help fill up. Don't be a woman, they said. Don't be a man, they said. Be a human.

Women embrace men and their shortcomings. Men understand women have been hurt by other men. Women love men unconditionally. Men provide for women in whatever ways you can. Men don't have to be the strongest to protect women. Women do not have to be fragile to be compassionate to men. Be a human. Women do not treat every man the same. Men do not expect the same from every woman. Live together, coexist in this world. Understand we work best together.

Don't be a woman, they said. Don't be a man, they said. Be a human.

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